Well i guess the first obvious question is what do i mean by the Marcie show. Actually i was going to write a little bit about other stuff and then get back to that.
As those of you who have been reading regularly know i've not been in the best shape latetly. I think i have put up a post about an arugment i had with PA when discussing how i was doing...(i dont' feel like messing around enough at the the moment to find it...if not we got into an argument when i was talking about how i was feeling).
And it has been at the bad side. My doctor would have done all she could to get me into the hospital a couple of weeks ago if i wanted to go into the hospital. I certainly qualified, if thats how you want to call it. But i didn't want to unless they would be able to do anything. The only hospitals i could get into immediately would be general hospitals with a psych ward. These can be very good if you are very concerned you are going to be a danger to yourself or you have just run yourself out because of how badly off you've been lately (and i've used them then). But generally i don't do all that well in them. For one thing my doc is already considered better on the meds than them so they aren't going to have any good ideas (or at least they haven't in the past), the food is wrong for my hypoglycemia and a zillion other things. Right now we are trying to get me assesed at the local psych hospitals affective disorders unit. I don't particulary like that hospital but they might know more...and if they thought they might have some luck i would be willing to go in.....but as its the xmas season i'm still waiting to hear back from them about an assesment.
So in fact i've been kinda living the in limbo thing. I consider it in a wierd way i guess but its the "bad enough to be in hospital but they drive me nuts so i stay at home since i'm still able to take care of myself but on lots of pills and feeling like shit. I don't even know if what i'm trying to say gets across. Its not easy to get into the hospital on psych.... the fact that i could have (baring a very idiotic doctor) means bad shape.
But if i'm going to be in bad shape why not sleep it off at home. If i haven't exhausted myselft (see above as a reason i will go into hospital) i'll go into a different type of mode which is the "i'm in bad shape, taking care of myself but don't expect to do a hell of a lot done" stage. And some days i'll get things done...a bit or a lot and some days i'll get next to nothing done. I guess the difference is in accepting i'm not doing all that well and not expecting all that much of myself in the period of time. I like to blog so i continue to blog generally...although not quite as reliably. I'm falling behind on my news generally...but there are worse things in life. I am watching quite a few movies (movies are great for escape) and it justifies the box i got (i've gone through 10 movies in less than a month).
Now this is not the usual in my life and i don't mean to say it is...and as i said i still have better and worse days. But one of the thigns i find gets really hard is being with friends. I don't have a hell of a lot to say and its a lot of effort to pretend i'm doing great. Or i can try talking about it but sometimes that isn't the best idea or is a disaster. So i do turn inward a lot and stop going out much (which tends to occur in the winter to some extent anyway...so its just exagerated).
So the "Marcie Show" is when i have to go over here or there and go on like there is nothing unusual going on in my life...at least to the best i can. Generally i prefer to avoid it...but it can't always be avoided all that easily.
DA hasn't seen me in a while. Her husband PH as i said is in cancer treatment so i haven't thought much of it. The two of us have had a few ups and downs in the friendship over the years and one issue was how often we saw each other (obviously not considered at all to be the same at this point). However she had free time yesterday and today and wanted to see me. After i was the one that talked of being annoyed at never seeing her in the past its a hard one to turn down. And to a certain extent i guess its good for me to get out of the house. But it can also be hard.
With her husband in the middle of chemo i'm not about to talk about the problems i'm having (although she'll likely pick up a bit on the side just from knowing me all these years---but she didn't ask much anyway). So i choose something to wear that will look nice. I make sure i put on some makeup so i won't look as pale as i likely do (i'm not eating quite as much or as good food as i should, depression kills you appetite)...of course sometimes i just wear makeup when i visit because i feel like it (i'm one of these people that has makeup, knows how to use it, has several "looks" i use, but doesn't wear makeup all the time either). Anyway you keep the eye shadow light (i could work on making it look like i wasn't wearing makeup---i've done that but i figured there was no need) but making sure the blush gets on---and some powder helps to even out colour although its not absolutely needed...i did put some one.
Then you get the hair to look right. Get yourself together so you look nice and composed and not like you are spending most of your time in bed and feeling not great. And then you get to pretend that absolutely nothing is bugging you for a few hours.
I can do it and i have done it over the years. I use to do it in high school all the time---they realized i was depressed after the worst of it had passed because it was then i let my apperance fall a bit---wasn't worried about having problems if they figured out how depressed i was. Apparently my parents got quite a few calls from the school about them being concerned about me being suicidal perhaps----almost all of them after i'd improved (i don't know the exact timing but i know when i'd get questioned more in the group home or by teachers).
I don't like doing it though. Takes a ton of energy and its not like i have to go around my life pretending as an adult in the same way. If i'm going to decide to stay home when i'm bad enough to be in the hospital part of the deal is i don't go around doing much of that.
But i couldn't really pass up seeing her. And i do miss seeing folks now and then. And its not the time with her to discuss how i'm doing so i went and did it. First while was hard but after a bit i got into the swing of it. It just feels so artificial and i'm not even sure what to make as small talk seeing as there is very little i'm doing at the moment to make small talk about.
I guess its about maintaining things. It was worth seeing her to maintain the friendship. Sometimes i would talk with her....but not at this moment. So i had to put on the la di da thing.
Worrying about how to do it was actually more of a problem then doing it. My anxiety is way up there so i had all these kinda vague worries about what if this or that comes up that weren't a problem (theoreticaly they could be but not likely all in the same day).
The makeup job i'm used to doing when needed, i think the clothes looked decent. And it was nice to get out....better yet i know i can count on a good month before i have to worry about it again.
In terms of what is all this talk about being bad enough for hospital but not being there? Well there are always in betweens and things likely vary from city to city---and i think they are quite different in the US (we don't have the same back wards that are so easy to get stuck in if you don't have money---some long term institutions exists but its a lot harder to stick you there). And i happen to hate the way psych wards treat you like idiots (i've been on other wards and it wasn't nearly as bad). When i needed food at night once they made me do a diabetics blood sugar test---despite the fact that i'm listed as hypoglycemic (on other wards there is a small kitchen with stuff in the fridge pretty much all night and if you say you need food its not viewed as a psychaitric symptom.). I get tired about the cracks the nurses make about my meds either with good intentions or bad (i've seen both over the years). It feels clausterphobic. For the first few days you can't leave the ward and have to dress in bedclothes. After that you can leave the ward and they get annoyed if you wear bedclothes. Thing is i only appear with one set of clothes which aren't clean for too many days...and i spend a great deal of time sleeping in the hospital---part of which is diet related i think--part because i'm more likely to go in when i've tired myself out...so unless i'm going offward i don't want to be washing the same clothes every second day....and even then when you can go offward and when you stay is very regimented. And it can eventually drive you up the wall---something to keep in mind. In my case my worse nervous breakdown (big---i think i may have had minor one's before looking back in comparisson but i wouldn't class it that way was caused by being in a hospital psych program. So i need to look out for what is the best for me (that nervous breakdown was still causing problems that were large 9 months later). And my doctor as seen this...thus she doesn't push me to go into the hospital when she might push someone in the same shape to go---although she'll let me know she'll push for me to be admitted if i want to go and leave it to me.
So staying at home on a regime where i allow myself to be a lot laxer than usual can make sense (as long as you dont' spend all the time doing that---you need to recognize when) and i do try to keep some contitunity...see my counsellors and stuff, since i don't need to spend much time (or all that much) hiding from them and useful stuff can still be done ...
I guess i've given it my best at explaining it. I don't really know how exactly and to people i don't even really know. I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me. The blog is about my life not a place for pity. But at the same time i don't want to gloss things over too much since i want it to be an honest blog about what my experiences are like---which includes political news---as well as how i'm doing depending or both at the same time.
I guess i just wanted to kinda explain what the Marcie show as all about---as well as how annoying but necessary it can be at times to do it. But that i find it tiring to do. In all likelyhood you've seen some version of it with someone you know---even if they are talking about how they are feeling they may not be saying it all---or they might be in a situation like me today. And its part of what having a psych disability requires (real life to some extent too---although i categorize that version differently but you've likely been to office parties where you have to appear interested and you are bored to death or something similar)...to a certain extent all the time....but sometimes its a lot more, and it feels a lot more onerous.
I hope you all have a happy new year! M
TSUNAMI International News Roundup Special Edition
This is coverage i've collected over the last few days but haven't had a chance to organize and put up yet. I think it being from international press its still relevant and some of it is up to the day today. Its long... getting through it all once would not be something i'd generally suggest doing...although if you want to feel free....M
Tim Radford, science editor Saturday December 11, 2004 The Guardian
Cast Adrift, a report from the pressure groups Greenpeace and the New Economic Foundation, highlights the gap between the developing and developed worlds as the latest round of climate change talks gather pace in Argentina. Global average temperatures have been rising for more than a decade, increasing the risk of more frequent windstorms, floods, droughts and even ice storms.
These would mean extra insurance liability and business risk, additional construction costs, warning systems, sea and river defences, and greater spending on water, health, agriculture and tourism.
The Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) has estimated that the annual construction costs alone for adaptation to climate change could fall somewhere between $14bn and $73bn.
The Association of British Insurers predicts that weather insurance claims in an "extreme" year in the UK will have quadrupled by 2050, to an estimated $50bn. Worldwide economic losses due to natural disasters could hit an average of $150bn a year in the next decade. This is three times the present global aid budget.
"The world's richest nations are set to hold back the flames of global warming with one hand while pouring oil on the fire with the other," said Andrew Simms of the New Economic Foundation.
"The law of the sea dictates able ships should always respond to an SOS, but on top of the double standards, rich countries are also abandoning the rest of the world, who are being cast adrift to cope with a warming world."
Our correspondents and news agencies report today on the grim consequences for the people of Indonesia, India, Sri Lanka, Thailand and the Maldives. Sri Lanka, over 1,500km from the epicentre with no experience of sea surges of such magnitude, was one of the hardest hit with at least 3,500 people killed. A national disaster was declared after the giant tsunami hit its east and southern coastlines sweeping away people, cars and villages. Landmines from its civil war were dislodged, adding several mine-related accidents. About 2,000km of southern India's coastline was badly affected. Fishing villages in the state of Tamil Nadu and Andhra Pradesh were particularly hard hit with many fishermen being swept out to sea and other villages reporting beaches strewn with their dead bodies.
The health hazards were obvious: the unburied bodies which will quickly decompose in tropical temperatures; water supplies polluted from both huge quantities of salt water sloshing around and overflowing sewage; plus already over-stretched and under-funded health systems with acute shortages of medical supplies facing huge extra numbers of injured people. Further complications will be caused by disrupted communications and power supplies.
Similarly, the nations face severe economic consequences, not least those especially dependent on tourists - such as Thailand, the Maldives and Sri Lanka - with the disruption and damage the tsunamis have wreaked on their frail infrastructures. The floods have coincided with the peak of their tourism season. British travel agents estimated yesterday that up to 20,000 British holiday-makers will have had their plans disrupted.
From Sumatra to Somalia, the tsunami swept away all before it Monday December 27, 2004 The Guardian
This quote just has the areas and the times in it...the article has a section on each area. Look at the times closely though...if the countries in those areas had the money for an early warning tsunami system (like we do in parts of Canada, the US and Japan a lot of people would have lived...it may not have saved all that many in Indonesia right around where the quake occured but some countries were experiencing the tsunami two hours after the quake. None of the estimates of those killed is likely accurate...they have already been raised and will likely continue to go up
Indonesia: Shock hits at 7.58am local time: 4,400 dead in Aceh and North Sumatra Thailand: Shock hits at 8am: 400 dead, dozens of foreign tourists feared missing, more than 5,000 injured
Malaysia: Tsunami hits soon after 8 am: 42 dead
India: Tremors at 6.30am; tsunami hits at 9am: at least 3,000 dead, including 1,625 in Tamil Nadu
Brian Whitaker and agencies Tuesday December 28, 2004 The Guardian
The chief UN relief coordinator, Jan Egeland, said the recovery effort was unlike anything the UN had ever attempted because so many different areas were affected.
"This may be the worst natural disaster in recent history because it is affecting so many heavily populated, coastal areas," he told CNN.
Assessing needs in areas with disrupted communications and on isolated islands is a formidable challenge, as are the logistical complexities of delivering aid. It is also a race against time to prevent more deaths from disease, hunger and thirst.
"Many more people could die in the coming days," said Jasmine Whitbread, the international director of Oxfam. "The flood waters will have contaminated drinking water and food will be scarce."
The relief efforts will also have to tackle the longer-term problems of those who have lost their homes and livelihoods. "We will be at it for many months to come," said David Alexander, international director of the British Red Cross....
Australia, which has thousands of miles of coast facing the Indian Ocean but was largely unaffected, pledged almost £4m and sent two freight planes to Malaysia with water purification supplies, blankets and bottled water.
The US released $400,000 (£208,000) and said it expected to increase that to $15m. "Some 20,000-plus lives have been lost in a few moments but the lingering effects will be there for years," the secretary of state, Colin Powell, said.
The EU promised €3m (£2.1m), with the prospect of more to come. "There is no doubt that we are talking about substantial sums as this is one of the world's worst natural disasters for many years," said Louis Michel, the commissioner responsible for humanitarian aid. "The commission is able to mobilise up to €30m promptly through its emergency procedures." ...
US $400,000 released; total pledge anticipated at $15m UK £400,000 through EU, aid flight sent Norway £500,000 to Sri Lanka Kuwait $1m Belgium €500,000 Australia $10m Australian (£4m) EU Donated €3m (£2.1m), more to follow
I ask you to take a look at this list (and Canada has said it will donate $3 Million as a minimun Canadian even if it did not make the news in Britain. And Canada has roughthly 10% of the US population. A pound is roughtly $2 US...and a Euro is larger than a US dollar (by how much changes quite a bit). Look at this list. Canada has pledged (by population) twice the US. And look at all the countries that have pledged smaller amounts but will have more to follow in all likelyhood (as will the US i'm sure). I think there is a problem when the US is at the bottom of the list in amount seeing how large a population they have. Kuwait has promised much more and while it may be oil rich its very small
Vice-President Jusuf Kalla said the death toll in the region "could be between 5,000 and 10,000. This is a national disaster".
On the outskirts of Banda Aceh, on the northern tip of Sumatra, people searched for relatives among 500 bodies lined up under plastic tents, decomposing in the tropical heat, said an Associated Press reporter at the scene.
Dozens of buildings were destroyed in Banda Aceh, whose streets were turned into rivers by the huge waves that followed the earthquake. Some 3,000 people, many of them young children, died in the city, which has been virtually cut off.
Scores more people were missing, including at least 200 police and family members believed buried under their barracks in Banda Aceh, a police spokesman said.
The government warned of the danger of disease spreading. "We are trying to give the bodies a proper burial but there are so many of them," said Dr Indrawadi Tamin, from the national disaster handling agency. "We fear the rapid spread of cholera and dysentery."
Sumatra island bore the brunt of the quake, which was centred just off its western coast. One million people had been left homeless, the health ministry said.
John Aglionby in Patong Beach, Phuket Tuesday December 28, 2004 The Guardian
By last night it was clear that many people had not managed to escape in time. Soontorn Rieulueng, the interior ministry official coordinating the rescue operation, said 866 people were confirmed dead in Thailand and up to 1,000 more were missing.
"Some of these could be up in the hills - perhaps they are too afraid to come down," he told the Guardian. "But we think the majority are corpses and it's just a matter of time before we find them."
Added to that were some 500 European tourists and hotel workers, who were reported missing on the small island of Khao Lak, off the west coast of Phuket last night by the French hotel group Accor.
"At this stage, we have been able to identify 100 people who have been transferred to Bangkok but we have not heard news about several hundred other people," a spokeswoman said....
As in Krabi, Patong's main hospital was overwhelmed. "Our emergency room usually has to handle about 60 people a day," the hospital's deputy director, Padungkiat Uthoksenee, said. "For the last two days we've had more than 10 times that number.
"We ran out of even the most basic of medicine and equipment yesterday so I sent an urgent request to Bangkok for more supplies but they didn't send me what I asked for. Apparently there is not enough and everything has to be shared between all the affected areas."
Nowhere was this better reflected than at the mortuary, which was struggling to process the 133 bodies taken there. Almost everything was being done in the open air.
Rory McCarthy in Kanaga Chettkuluan Tuesday December 28, 2004 The Guardian
After the water had washed completely back to sea he found her body, lying on the ground barely 20 yards from their house. "She came here," he said, pointing at the spot, covered now by a pile of palm fronds and broken furniture.
Yesterday she was buried, along with a dozen others from the village, in a broad patch of sand half a mile to the north. There was a line of rough mounds in the ground, unmarked save for a small, square stone. There had been no time for the traditional Hindu rituals, Mr Shekar said, and this grieved him almost as much as the loss of his sister.
Grief had spread through the village. Among the dead was a young girl, Anousha, aged three.
"My house collapsed and I had my daughter's hand in mine as we ran back from the water," said her distraught father, Raja. "But the wave took her from my hands."
Martin Kettle Tuesday December 28, 2004 The Guardian
For most of human history people have tried to explain earthquakes as acts of divine intervention and displeasure. Even as the churches collapsed around them in 1755, Lisbon's priests insisted on salvaging crucifixes and religious icons with which to ward off the catastrophe that would kill more than 50,000 of their fellow citizens.
Others, though, began to draw different conclusions. Voltaire asked what kind of God could permit such a thing to occur. Did Lisbon really have so many more vices than London or Paris, he asked, that it should be punished in such a appalling and indiscriminate manner? Immanuel Kant was so amazed by what happened to Lisbon that he wrote three separate treatises on the problem of earthquakes.
Our own society seems to be more squeamish about such things. The need for mutual respect between peoples and traditions of which the Queen spoke in her Christmas broadcast seems to require that we must all respect religions in equal measure, too. The government, indeed, is legislating to prevent expressions of religious hatred in ways that could put a cordon around the critical discussion of religion itself.
Yet it is hard to think of any event in modern times that requires a more serious explanation from the forces of religion than this week's earthquake. Voltaire's 18th-century question to Christians - why Lisbon? - ought to generate a whole series of 21st-century equivalents for all the religions of the world.
Certainly the giant waves generated by the quake made no attempt to differentiate between the religions of those whom it made its victims. Hindus were swept away in India, Muslims were carried off in Indonesia, Buddhists in Thailand. Visiting Christians and Jews received no special treatment either. This poses no problem for the scientific belief system. Here, it says, was a mindless natural event, which destroyed Muslim and Hindu alike.
David Adam, science correspondent Tuesday December 28, 2004 The Guardian
He echoed claims that a relatively simple early warning system would have saved thousands of lives: "At least two-thirds of the people who died should not have died. They could have had an hour or so to get a kilometre or two inland or to reach high ground."
Such warning systems, common in the Pacific where seabed earthquakes are more frequent, combine seismic monitoring with sea level measurements to detect and predict the path of tsunamis while they are still in deep water. They also need effective communications and evacuation plans onshore.
Prof McGuire said: "I'm not surprised by this, but they've never experienced one there so they think one is never going to happen. There is a window of opportunity now to get a warning system set up because in a few years people will have forgotten about this."
I would add in that the poverty of the countries in the area was also a factor. Canada has a warning system and we have only rarely seen a tsunami (although it is more common than in the Indian ocean) and not at this level....but Canada and the US and Japan have money so they have warning systems. Even without a warning system if there were better communications a lot more people would have lived.
John Aglionby in Phuket, Jonathan Steele in Panadura, Patrick Barkham and Brian Whitaker Tuesday December 28, 2004 The Guardian
With food, drink, sanitation, shelter and healthcare urgently needed in Indonesia, India, Sri Lanka and Thailand, a vast international rescue effort was under way last night. Countries including Britain, the US and Kuwait pledged millions of dollars in aid. Jan Egeland, chief UN relief coordinator, said it would take "many billions of dollars" and years to help the region to recover.
Relief organisations were struggling to determine exactly what help was needed, and where, with communications cut or overloaded.
"We are used to dealing with disasters in one country. But I think something like this spread across many countries and islands is unprecedented," said Yvette Stevens of the OCHA, the UN body that coordinates emergency relief.
Jonathan Steele in Panadura, Sri Lanka Tuesday December 28, 2004 The Guardian
The path to several thousand private hells is all too public. In this small town 20 miles south of the Sri Lankan capital, Colombo, it leads down the open-sided corridors of the district hospital to a garden at the back, and the mortuary beyond. Police men and women in crisp khaki uniforms sit at tables under a frangipani tree, writing out death certificates. Small knots of relatives stand in the shade of the covered walkway, waiting for the horrendous moment of identification.
Again and again, a shriek goes up as mortuary workers lift the blanket or plastic sheeting which protects the dignity of the drowned. With a nationwide death toll of more than 12,000, the same desperate drama of shock and grief was being played out in scores of other towns and villages yesterday.
COLOMBO, Sri Lanka - Rescuers scoured Asia`s coastlines today for survivors of devastating tidal waves that obliterated seaside towns in nine countries, killing more than 19,930 people. Aid poured into the region, but morgues and hospitals struggled to cope with the tragedy.
NICOLAAS VAN RIJN STAFF REPORTER Dec. 27, 2004. 07:53 AM
A giant tsunami, rising silently from the deeps like a mythical sea monster, swept across southern Asia yesterday to turn a sunny Sunday morning into a scene of death and destruction across thousands of kilometres and nine nations.
OMER FAROOQ ASSOCIATED PRESS Dec. 27, 2004. 07:56 AM
MANGINAPUDI BEACH, India - The women and children had ritual baths in the sea on the occasion of the Full Moon Day, an auspicious day for Hindus. Then, the tsunami struck, sweeping 35 of them out to sea before throwing their lifeless bodies back on shore.
MARTIN REGG COHN ASIA BUREAU Dec. 28, 2004. 06:50 AM
COLOMBO— Still reeling from its worst natural disaster in history, Sri Lanka braced today for the painful fallout from the tidal waves that engulfed the island's shoreline. As dawn broke, survivors resumed the grim search for loved ones who might wash ashore, trudging through once-idyllic white sand beaches.
THOMAS H. MAUGH II SPECIAL TO THE STAR (but also lists LA Times as the bottom) Dec. 28, 2004. 01:00 AM
The magnitude 9.0 earthquake that struck off Indonesia moved the entire island of Sumatra about 30 metres to the southwest, pushing up a gigantic mass of water that collapsed into a tsunami and devastated shorelines around the Indian Ocean and the South China Sea.
Thirst, hunger and disease are the newest threats to millions struggling to rebuild their lives in the wake of a tsunami that tore across much of southern Asia Sunday. The latest estimates are that 77,000 people have perished, with the toll still climbing.
Jude Silva had only moments to make a choice: who to save and who to leave behind. The young Sri Lankan fisherman gathered up his mother while his wife rescued their 4-year-old son. There was no way to carry his ailing 60-year-old father as well. Martin Cohn reports from Kalutara, Sri Lanka.
OTTAWA—Canada's special military team for humanitarian crises, which hasn't seen action since 1999, may be split up so at least one part can be used for relief work in the Indian Ocean tsunami disaster.
Despite the dramatic television and newspaper pictures, it is still incomprehensible: a tsunami roaring across the Indian Ocean at 800 kilometres an hour, building up into 10-metre waves as it nears land, slamming into 11 countries on two continents, killing at least 50,000 people, levelling entire towns, leaving millions of survivors in shock and grief.
Bodies were piled today along southern Asian coastlines devastated by massive waves that obliterated seaside towns and killed 23,700 people in nine countries. The tally was expected to rise, with thousands still missing. Hundreds of children were buried in mass graves in India, and morgues and hospitals struggled today to cope with the catastrophe.
this has been done over a couple of days. the amounts of money pledged earlier i've commented on have changed but are still in similar in proprotion (Canada is now pledging roughly the same $ [although Canadian] as the US. There is a very good spot on the CBC to get news that i'll post later on...I've put this together because i think that getting news from different perspectives are important (and i believe that myself, i'm not happy with the Canadian English Press generally (the Star is about as good as it gets in English) so i read British Press. Of course part of what i want to d is to show different coverage. The blockquotes for the Guardian were taken from the articles. The blockquotes for the Star were taken from the summary of the articles when i looked them up for the IP address that worked for those that don't get the email messages on what is in the paper. M
The Worst thing happen in the poorest places to the people in the weakest circumstances
My homemaker is from Burma. Recently we were having a discussion on how people (like me living on less than ten grand) consider themselves poor in Canada. I pointed out that it is a relative thing and that i was aware there were poorer Canadians. Aside from the issue of costs being higher here, it is about an ability to be involved in society. And for all my bitiching on the blog i've always been aware that being a poor Canadian is quite different from being poor in other countries and that being white has made it easier on me....this piece is actually a transcript from a TV news program. Its a person that does opinion pieces on the national news the CBC has on TV (called The National). I thought it was well worth putting up. Link to it here http://www.cbc.ca/national/rex/rex_04122 8.html" title="http://www.cbc.ca/national/rex/rex_04122 8.html" target="_blank"http://www.cbc.ca/national/re...
The worst things happen in the poorest places to people in the weakest circumstances.
Dec. 28, 2004
Hearing and watching the news over the last few days has left most people numb. However many tens of thousands will have been killed following the earthquake-tsunami, there will be tens of hundreds of thousands more in mourning, houseless, stricken with disease and wracked with pain.
It is a monumental misery being endured by those peoples in the ring of countries where the devastation was most concentrated.
It should remind us here on the heels of Christmas in ways that are far too numerous to count that we, in what we call the West, are always on the top side of fortune's wheel. That whatever are the miseries or contentions of life, say, here in Canada, most of our misfortunes and conflicts are by comparison contracted and trivial. We're lucky, if that's the right word, to live in a part of the world where it's news if an airport is shut down because of a storm or there's a rash of fender benders after the first snowfall.
It is an axiom of this world that the worst things happen in the poorest places to people in the weakest circumstances. If you were born in the West, you've won the only lottery that really counts from the very first moment you take air. It's very early in the response to the calamity now unfolding, but not too early to ask what our country plans to do.
A natural disaster is a miserable combination of words, but a natural disaster does come with one single benefit... it is free of all the fogs of politics. There are just thousands and thousands of truly innocent people living a nightmare of pain, want, and dislocation. We Canadians like to cherish the notion that we are a right-feeling nation. Our present government has given signals that it sees itself and the country it governs as being an agency, a source of international conscience. This week's news is going to test that reputation. Are we going to be one of the countries which waits for others to propose response and action? Are we ready to deploy troops and money, both in substantial amounts, to do the charity — and that's the right word — that this monumental disaster calls for? Do we have them?
The Prime Minister has had photo ops with Bono, the tinsel of do-goodism lies over this government. Canadians themselves surely pride themselves on the idea that they, we, are a force for good in the world. After the news this week, only two things can happen... we will hear all the right noises from our government, all the low-voiced mumbling of concern and sympathy, the verbal equivalent of tearing up in public for the benefit of the world's cameras, or we will leap far beyond all conventional response and see in the catastrophic misery that is unfolding on the other side of the world an extraordinary responsibility for a country of our wealth and prosperity to make a response proportional to that wealth and that responsibility.
It may be the wrong end of the telescope to look at it this way, but the disaster and death that have visited the world in the interlude between Christmas and New Year's should be or must be the dread stimulus for the First World to begin paying some homage to the perpetual plight of those caught in the Third. There's still enough of the Christmas spirit left to remember 2004 for something more than its orgy of Boxing Day sales. And if an earthquake and a tsunami can't wake us out of the slumbers of complacency and prosperity, well then there's nothing that can. For "The National," I'm Rex Murphy.
This was written earlier in the day but Tblog refused to post it...so that is why it sounds like an earlier thing---i cut and pasted it to my notebook at the time...i did manage to get my nap ;-)
Well the by law person did turn up this morning...not all that late either....close enough to say on time even (ask for morning apts with these types of folks if you can).
He took a look at the place. He said they are required to put a fan in. He took a picture of the hole where the fan could go...and seemed a bit confused. I realized it was because one of the switches was turned off (i don't keep all my lights on all the time...this is the hallway). So i flicked the second switch and the light in the hallway turned on...he was sure then. In fact the bylaw allows for an outdoor window but he is personally disdainful of that as well, although he can't do anything about it...why? Because when it is regularly -20 C (about -4 F) out in the winter its not like you can open your window really to let the steam out.
But given my bathroom is not even near the outside wall it gets a fan (and there IS a vent....the landlord claimed only half had fans installed and they weren't doing mine because it wasn't part of the half...i told them at that point i was going to call standards---although they likely didn't think i would).
So he took a photo of the vent and i think some of the mold on the ceiling (there isn't a lot because i'm clausterphobic and shower with the door open, but its starting and we are pretty sure my allergies are related to spores which moulds make....they don't test for what i am allergic to so we don't know for sure). I asked if they were then responsible for getting rid of the mould as well. The answer was there shouldn't be any---because i should have a fan--good enough.
He is going to order the window to be repaired as well. It seems to be a more iffy thing, but in explaining how it created drafts and made it uncomfortable at night and how during the last cold snap there was an inch and a half of ice going up the window without the vaccum......(the others got about .4 inches of ice at -30 things happen that are wierd but you could tell the real difference in the drafts).
The order will say they need to fix it in 30 days. He says they will likely appeal on the window (timewise) I didn't really ask why instead I pointed out i put in a request in Sept (actually May but they lost that and says it doesn't exist---and people saw it in Sept when they did a brief inspection) because of temperature problems (if that is there excuse) and that the tables there are bricks and boards and can be taken apart and that i can move the bed into the hallway making room for the work. So they may still appeal...but he knows what i'm going to say in response.
I had a few other questions. Nothing i would have called by law over but was curious about. Things they can't change. For example i can only put a 60W bulb in the main lamp if i want to have it covered (ie not bare light bulb). This makes it real dark and i asked him if there was anything about it. He said no. I figured...although its kinda a stupid move since it now takes me three or four lights to keep the place lighted at night and at least three unless i'm watching TV. And i pay a certain lump sum for my electricity---so guess who gets to pick up the cost? I said it was just lucky i had a lot of lamps...my last apt. didn't have any in the living room or the bedroom, although i need to get a couple of new lampshades (at least two if i want to get a matched pair up and going---i ruined on lampshade and having them match if they are both being used would be nice---).
I'm not sure exactly how they argue the window except that they aren't supposed to be that way. I think you might be able to decide not to put in windows with vacuums (i don't know the law) but once they are in they need the vaccuum...otherwise ice is just the beginning...after that mould start to grow (allergies anyone?). And i pointed out it makes it drafty and hard for me to figure out what to wear at night because i would set the thermostat to a certain temp and i would be too hot but because the thermostat doesn't work well i'd wake up in the middle of the evening cold---that or i can heat the bejesus out of the apt (i already keep it warmer than normal a lot of the time). The city i'm in actually has a by law on temperature...it needs to be 21 C during the day and i think 16 or 18C during the night (that is 70F during the day and either 60 or 65F during the night---i'm pretty sure having done the math its 18 degrees...60 is just way to low [i did mention i'm a bit of a mix of imperial amd metric?].
So the place is warm enough....but while i didn't ask under exactly what he's going after the window too. To be honest he seemed quite busy...i don't think there are too many of them and they spend there day rushing from places like mine to one's that are worse so i didn't want to get into a big conversation (the discussion on lamps i had as i was taking him down the elevator to get out of the building). I only went to bylaw because the next place was Landlord and Tenant and i didn't see why basic repairs should have to go there.
So its over and i survived it even if it was hard (it made me very nervous) and hopefully they will start fixing things soon.
One word of warning though...doing it this way only generally works if you are in government housing (federal, provincial, municipal however it is where you are---and even then i would be careful...they know i've been through the Tenant Protection Act here because i've quoted parts of it at them when they weren't following it, but that is already taking a position that can make life more difficult----unless the part you are mentioning makes a big difference to you and it did to me)...the game is very different in private housing because it easier for them to come up with stupid reasons to kick you out----but a public landlord can get quite embarassed if it makes news they are refusing to provide the basic repairs a place needs. If you situation is bad enough you might consider it in private leasing---but its generally a tactic that you think of much later in private housing...i only know one person that has used it then and that was when one of the rooms (the rooms for when his kids visted) was below 60F all the time in the winter and the landlord refused to fix it.
Eventually i'll get my news up i guess. I'm tired...i got to bed late because i was nervous (after 12) and still started waking up at 5:30 and was out of bed by 6:30. I think i'm going to go see if i can grab a nap. M
i just tried linking to a couple of blogs i liked by clicking on the "link to this blog" spot...seemed the obvious way although i did it in a harder way the first two i linked.
Anyway it didn't work so i'll go through it manually tomorrow. I'm just afraid that maybe in some way that will show on the other person page (sometimes Tblog is way out there.....).
If this did occur i'm sorry, although i don't know what to do exactly to fix it up...for all i know it would have just added you to my bookmarks...except you are already there.
Well i spent a while working on entry here on the tsunami but i didn't have time to finish it...got too busy in other things. Seeing that most of the news will be from today it won't be that old regardless. It will be a special edition of my international news roundups. I should (hopefully) get it up tomorrow. As long as everything goes ok in the morning...at this point too much of the day has slipped past.
So what is tomorrow. Well because of a horrible storm the by law guy wasn't able to make it last week. So he is coming in the morning. I'm very nervous about it....not so long ago i would never have considered doing such a thing. But with the homemaker i have now and more ability/effort on my part the apt. is in decent shape...not wonderful...there will always be too much in here for that but its nice and clean and tidied up a fair bit.
He's coming at 9:30 in the morning so at least i won't have to spend the whole day waiting (and even if he's late he can't be all that late...not that much stuff before me). By then i'll likely be in a full scale panic...but the advantage of him not coming the other time was that was on a Thursday...this time its on a Wednesday morning....and my homemaker comes on Tuesday afternoons so the house is about as good as it does get. Perhaps Karma from waiting 3 hours to see if he would show up on the wonderful weather day.... i get something back---the best day he could come for me---early in the morning!
So keep an eye out for the next international news roundup...its going to be longer than usual (more stories) although more focused on one topic. Also i'm putting my comments (and editorials) in it in italics something i had started doing when i used the normal paste it engine but didn't use much elsewhere...i think it will lead to more continuity on the blog, although the links will always look different. Also i've taken large sections in blockquote....but never a full part of the article. Just a part for a taste of what each one is about.
till tomorrow then M
No comments really/could be helpful by comment or tmail
While there a couple of you out there that i get comments from (most often after i've commented on your pages) i don't get any comments here.
I don't give a darn about the Tbucks...i've got more than i know what to do with (not that that takes much work). I just wonder if there is some way that i could write that would be more interesting (that would still be a way i want to write).
Its certainly given me the freedom to write the way i want. Its mainly after holidays or a day or two off that i realized i had more than 40 readers as (just like me with the pages i like i assume) people come in all at once, instead of a certain portion each day.
I think the blog is coming along. I would like some comments from people though. Constructive criticism would be the most appreciated....although i guess in some ways that may be more a tmail thing.
The point is that it doesn't matter how i get it i would like to get a bit of feedback at this point. I want to keep working on this for a while more then i think i'll use some of the saved up tbucks to enter the blog of the week thing----not with any intention of winning but with the intention of trying to get a bit more publicity. But i'd like suggestions on what could most be improved without really changing the flavour the page has (that will remain and i find its evolving over time).
Also this is on a US server. I keep on seeing comments about "fair use". The law is different in Canada on copyright...i know putting up whole articles is pushing it...but then its not like i'm that popular and i think it encourages folks to read some of the stuff they would just skip....that and i'm terrible at summarizing, which is why even when i do my "international news roundup" most of what i do is blockquotes from some part of the article (once i figured out how to do the blockquotes) with the occaisional comment. But i know there is some real differences between the US and Canada...our Supreme Court ruled that trading music personally and trying to go after people was like trying to get rid of photocopiers in libraries (or go after those that use them). The companies up here refused to give up user's names....so that is why it went to the Supreme Court. And they chose very busy user for the test case. I was proud of us for standing up to the (mostly) US pressure....i don't think the blog is popular enough for me to worry about yet, but i don't even know what the doctrine of fair use is (which is what i see on other blogs).
"Fair use doctrine" is not what i see Canadians talking about...it comes down (where i've been involved more in university) to how much of something you can copy....and its unclear on the internet as long as you show where it came from. In unversity you are allowed to copy any journal article for personal use and a percentage of a book (how much depends on if its edited or not i think). Even this caused huge problems when i was going to school. Profs were starting to use very expensive course packs that were just photocopies....and our photocopies were 9.5 cents a page so that gives you an idea....mind you the idea of the 9.5 was a certain percentage went back to Canadian publishers (i think it was the publishers).
Of course we ignored even that...but it seems like it might have been even more open than what is going on in the US...or maybe its just new US stuff due to computer.
So i've reached the spot that with a text editor i can do simple stuff with HTML (and yes i'm not all that old...for a long time html didn't make any sense to me until i got a program that suggested a text editorial for the tutorials that worked well---made better sense to me).
This is the program i use to write the HMTL when i'm linking articles and sometimes to write what i'm going to put up here (sometimes i just write from the plain section). Now the blog takes away the harder part of frames and such that i have no idea yet how to do (but which there are libraries for my editor). I know it sounds strange to use a text editor (you type it all in, or you use the tags on the left hand side to put in a thing if you don't know it---i use it to create my links but do most of the rest myself...then you can look at the file from a browser---if you are curious what i'm using its free and its listed on the left hand side...NoteTab light).
Now at the same time i'm slowly learning PHP because of the work i do on the Wikipedia (its coming its just that suggestions that often seem obvious to other folks like if you have too much info put in a summary and link it just don't occur to me). I CAN successfully link Wikipedia article, Java stamp when i wrote and put a talk page (or a new section) into a page such that it gets added to the list of what is on the page. Most of that is since August and i'm pretty proud of it (kinda sorry eh?). The other day i dumped about 64k on one page where we were talking because i didn't really know another way to do it (32 is supposed to be the maximum). The person suggested i not inudate the page but move it around (there was also a discussion that was more Wikipedia related about how we could work together on a page). I responded to the work together but added in i'd just started learning PHP and i wasn't quite sure how to do all of what she was talking of (i could in a few hours...or maybe less...she gave a good explanation).
I think after that she had a much better idea of why i had put it there...she's offered to work with me to move the information to where its accessible for discussion on what to put on the page, but not huge amounts with references to where more stuff is. She's an undergraduate and i think she was kinda surprised that i didn't know. I guess when i've been on the Wikipedia for a lot longer than her (i officially started in the Spring but my computer went down...she started in late October or November) she might have just assumed i knew. Well i didn't...what i can do i learned tediously and with many suggestions (the obvious of checking spelling in my word program and then cutting and pasting never occured to me until someone suggested it...although i checked the occaisional word----go figure). I've gotten a lot less complainst since then
So i guess one of the advantages of me working on the Wikipedia is that i'm slowly learning PHP which looks like the thing right now (i see it on here although i don't think people do it themselves although i could be wrong).
So i figured today i might want to look into how to get the RSS feed to work and went looking for tutorials and info on xml. I took a look at that and thought maybe xtml was a better idea...either it isn't out there or i didn't find it although i found xhtml (which is in the book i learned HTML from---a bare mention).
Well i don't know if its worth the effort at this point. I've finally learned and outdated system---but i can use it (i don't even use strict HTML 4.0), mine is from the set before mostly...except for how the page keeps the CCS because of how the blog program/template works (kinda neat getting it done for you).
In fact i've been pretty proud of what i've learned...all the stuff on the left and right panes is mine pretty much. If its not normally there...i coded it in. I got the two Java things i "bought" with T dollars to look bigger by bolding them etc.
So what is the problem...all of this just to find people were moving to xhtml around 2000 and xml pretty soon after...mind you that means the ressources are there. I'm torn...do i go to xhtml and look at learning it since it is the bridge between html and xml? Does it matter? I mean i don't even follow CCS which was the big thing with transititional and HTML 4 (although i learned a bit how it worked and its in my book if i cared to look it up), except on how i have to on these pages (ie the structure is provided for me).
I guess what is distressing is to find i finally got the basics of a computer language (my computer friends say it really isn't a language...i say it is)---something i haven't been able to do since Logo although a stats program i needed to learn for university was close--SPSS for UNIX its already way out of date...not just slightly out of date like i thought....the SPSS windows version comes up with the same answers but much easier. Some of my friends who were very into programming at the time told me it wasn't programing per say it was filtering but the program so old and stupid it was as bad as C from what they had seen that means bad in the mid to late 90's. In fact every other social science departement but ours and sociology was using the Windows version. To make sure we didn't use it and then take the code out (you could) they told us they would keep an eye on how much time we spent and what we did on their unix box....i learned it because i had to get my degree and i cursed every moment of the way. And i didn't even learn it all...it does all sorts of stuff we didn't get into or barely touched.
Maybe i should just accept the jump to PHP. From what i can tell its somewhat based on databases but thats about all i can tell and that it is good for linking. I don't even know how much of what i've learned on the Wikipedia is Wikpedia specific.
You never know...i will likely fiddle with trying to find a program on xhtml to see if its understandable at some point in the near future. And there is still plenty of people doing there stuff in html out there----and i write what i do generally (as opposed to using a WYSIWYG program---something i'm proud of)...for example the stuff on this page doesn't even require me to use my notepad...the bit of html i'm using here is the stuff i've memorized.
I knew i was out of date...that my book was out of date when i bought it. Its just depressing to realize how out of date you are sometimes, especially when you are proud of how well you've come along with the old stuff....just to find out it mostly considered irelevant now...even if it is still useful.
But i can still write 90% of my pages from the plain editor and never use any of those things up top to change the text (ie the bold underline and such buttons). I'm not good at computer languages (even something like html...i took to it better when i started to look at it as a way of word proccessing) and i can make my pages look nice generally....i may not be able to get a template i want to work, but then this place has been stable recently (except yesterday) so i'm just backing up on my computer regularly and if it comes to moving maybe i'll worry about it again.
The writing on the left and right bar wasn't meant as a show of in any way. But i was really glad i could do it, even if it isn't exactly what i wanted (my limits and the limits of what tlbog will let you do). And it made me happy to be able to work on it that way. It took time but i could do it....i suppose i should look into if anyone is bothering with xml anymore...the RSS feeds seem to suggest so, but then most of the recent stuff i'm coming across is PHP...it might make sense to skip to one from the other....
I come across Naomi Klein's writing in the Canadian and US press a fair bit. The comment about breaking it and owning it goes back to Powell i believe (its in plan of attack) but has morphed...this is a "print out" from the page as it didn't format well. The link will also show you how to read past articles(The article is from The Nationhttp://www.thenation.com/doc....;s=klein which also has a nicer format for the article (i read quite a few when i found this spot)M
lookoutby Naomi Klein
You Break It, You Pay For It
[from the January 10, 2005 issue]
So it turns out Pottery Barn doesn't even have a rule that says, "You break it, you own it." According to a company spokesperson, "in the rare instance that something is broken in the store, it's written off as a loss." Yet the nonexistent policy of a store selling $80 corkscrews continues to wield more influence in the United States than the Geneva Conventions and the US Army's Law of Land Warfare combined. As Bob Woodward has noted, Colin Powell invoked "the Pottery Barn rule" before the invasion, while John Kerry pledged his allegiance to it during the first presidential debate. And the imaginary rule is still the favored blunt instrument with which to whack anyone who dares to suggest that the time has come to withdraw troops from Iraq: Sure the war is a disaster, the argument goes, but we can't stop now--you break it, you own it.
Though not invoking the chain store by name, Nicholas Kristof laid out this argument in a recent New York Times column. "Our mistaken invasion has left millions of Iraqis desperately vulnerable, and it would be inhumane to abandon them now. If we stay in Iraq, there is still some hope that Iraqis will come to enjoy security and better lives, but if we pull out we will be condemning Iraqis to anarchy, terrorism and starvation, costing the lives of hundreds of thousands of children over the next decade."
Let's start with the idea that the United States is helping to provide security. On the contrary, the presence of US troops is provoking violence on a daily basis. The truth is that as long as the troops remain, the country's entire security apparatus--occupation forces as well as Iraqi soldiers and police officers--will be exclusively dedicated to fending off resistance attacks, leaving a security vacuum when it comes to protecting regular Iraqis. If the troops pulled out, Iraqis would still face insecurity, but they would be able to devote their local security resources to regaining control over their cities and neighborhoods.
As for preventing "anarchy," the US plan to bring elections to Iraq seems designed to spark a civil war--the civil war needed to justify an ongoing presence for US troops no matter who wins the elections. It was always clear that the Shiite majority, which has been calling for immediate elections for more than a year, was never going to accept any delay in the election timetable. And it was equally clear that by destroying Falluja in the name of preparing the city for elections, much of the Sunni leadership would be forced to call for an election boycott.
When Kristof asserts that US forces should stay in Iraq to save "hundreds of thousands of children" from starvation, it's hard to imagine what he has in mind. Hunger in Iraq is not merely the humanitarian fallout of a war--it is the direct result of the US decision to impose brutal "shock therapy" policies on a country that was already sickened and weakened by twelve years of sanctions. Paul Bremer's first act on the job was to lay off close to 500,000 Iraqis, and his primary accomplishment--for which he was just awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom--was to oversee a "reconstruction" process that systematically stole jobs from needy Iraqis and handed them to foreign firms, sending the unemployment rate soaring to 67 percent. And the worst of the shocks are yet to come. On November 21, the group of industrialized countries known as the Paris Club finally unveiled its plan for Iraq's unpayable debt. Rather than forgiving it outright, the Paris Club laid out a three-year plan to write off 80 percent, contingent on Iraq's future governments adhering to a strict International Monetary Fund austerity program. According to early drafts, that program includes "restructuring of state-owned enterprises" (read: privatization), a plan that Iraq's Ministry of Industry predicts will require laying off an additional 145,000 workers. In the name of "free-market reforms," the IMF also wants to eliminate the program that provides each Iraqi family with a basket of food--the only barrier to starvation for millions of citizens. There is additional pressure to eliminate the food rations coming from the World Trade Organization, which, at Washington's urging, is considering accepting Iraq as a member--provided it adopts certain "reforms."
So let's be absolutely clear: The United States, having broken Iraq, is not in the process of fixing it. It is merely continuing to break the country and its people by other means, using not only F-16s and Bradleys, but now the less flashy weaponry of WTO and IMF conditions, followed by elections designed to transfer as little power to Iraqis as possible. This is what famed Argentine writer Rodolfo Walsh, writing before his 1977 assassination by the military junta, described as "planned misery." And the longer the United States stays in Iraq, the more misery it will plan.
But if staying in Iraq is not the solution, neither are easy bumper-sticker calls to pull the troops out and spend the money on schools and hospitals at home. Yes, the troops must leave, but that can be only one plank of a credible and moral antiwar platform. What of the schools and hospitals in Iraq--the ones that were supposed to be fixed by Bechtel but never were? Too often, antiwar forces have shied away from speaking about what Americans owe Iraq. Rarely is the word "compensation" spoken, let alone the more loaded "reparations."
Antiwar forces have also failed to offer concrete support for the political demands coming out of Iraq. For instance, when the Iraqi National Assembly forcefully condemned the Paris Club deal for forcing the Iraqi people to pay Saddam's "odious" debts and robbing them of their economic sovereignty, the antiwar movement was virtually silent, save the dogged but undersupported Jubilee Iraq. And while US soldiers aren't protecting Iraqis from starvation, the food rations certainly are--so why isn't safeguarding this desperately needed program one of our central demands?
The failure to develop a credible platform beyond "troops out" may be one reason the antiwar movement remains stalled, even as opposition to the war deepens. Because the Pottery Barn rulers do have a point: Breaking a country should have consequences for the breakers. Owning the broken country should not be one of them, but how about paying for the repairs?
hi folks...i would have added something earlier today but the system seemed to be down (i guess most of you ran into that as well!).
I noticed i didn't put in why the OCD as a child could have been interesting or noteworthy. I don't know if i've mentioned it earlier in my blog but my parents spent my whole childhood trying to get me diagnosed with this or that. In some cases they were right...i do have ADHD and some LD's. In others its not clear the problem would not have occured if i hadn't been brought up in such an abusive home. So the fact that they absolutely missed an OCD diagnosis that was definite if you knew what to look for was a bit of a joke later, although it might have helped to know. It runs on my mom's side and i've got a cousin who is a shrink who has a really bad case of it (worse than me ever i think). Don't think she's been diagnosed either...i once spent a couple of nights at her house on the holidays...it was hell and i have no intention of staying over there if i'm in the city again (in this case i'd come in special from another city i was visiting nearby....to see her and another cousin but i wouldn't have stayed with her if i'd known what it would have been like....OTOH she was one of the few that paid attention to me as a kid other than as the troublemaker when she was in town.
When you get down to genetic vs environment i believe in the combo of the two (or the possibility anyway). I lived in a fucked up abusive house and started showing problems with depression by 8 (not common but hey living there i'm not surprised). It had taken on a major depression/slight ups at times [which were just closer to normal] by 13.
My brother on the other hand wasn't abused as far as i know albeit brought up wierd! I think he his having problems with depression now....but he is in his early 20's. So why did i start so much earlier. Environment is my guess. And it skips some people in the family....maybe it would have skipped me otherwise, who knows (it seems to have skipped on brother from what i can tell...the depression that is...we all have ADHD although the skipped brother has a borderline case and uses it to overfocus [yes that is part of ADHD too].
I happen to personally believe that ADHD at least in my family is definetly more heritable (not that i can't draw a wonderful family tree of other problems). 3 out of 3 is pretty high though....me and my mom have at times tried to see if it shows on her side (LD's show in both my mom and dad so there isn't a big question there---although they didn't call them that back then and me and Ben seemed to have inherited more Learning Disabilities than they show. But both my parents have problems writing (handwriting that is). I have a neurological problem that makes it hard....it should have been found early (i saw a test when i was young that suggests the subtest should have been done....my skill was of a 4 year old at 9) but it was missed....by the time we found it at 15 it was permanent. I've also got other LD's but getting over that one allowed me to start working more on the others (well learning how to get around it more)
but enough on that for now....
I hope folks had a good holiday. In Canada its boxing day. The stores are mostly closed i think...unless they changed the law. Back when i checked some opened because they made a lot more than the (large) fine. I live very close to what is designated a "tourist area" so the stores are open. Boxing day means sales!
So as usual i spent more than i should but got quite a bit from it (tight month). I got a floor model of a jewlery case for $25 plus tax (it was selling for $70 originally). Actually all of the Jewlery boxes were on sale and there was one i prefered but it was ostentatious. My building is low income and i prefer to go for plainish when i can (or small---last one was less plain but smaller) so as not to encourage people to break in. I don't own all that much, and i'm insured but the things i have mean things to me that insurance couldn't return.
When i brought it home it works quite well with my stuff. It has two sides that open for necklaces and bracelets. I have the "real stuff" on one side and the more general stuff on the other (although one could argue on a few pieces). It made me realize i have more silver than i remembered---most of it is often in the bottom of the case. I have two necklaces i wear all the time and the pendants for them are out generally but there were two other necklaces and a matching wristband (in that case they were a present from an old boyfriend that knew i liked that style but they are more dress up then i usually do). Also there is the one that has the clasp that can't stay put. Its nice though...at some point i might want to see if there is a way to put a new clasp on. As it is its impossible...i've lost some pendants with it...and its hopeless to wear at this point)
all of this aside i really don't have all that much jewllery, just more than i often thought of
And i do like silver. Silver is better for my colours (i'm a winter) and was much cheaper even before it caught on up here (its popular now...and even cheaper). Also its more popular in the Pagan community (although i'd been wearing it for years by then). I think that's because of the higher purity but i'm not totally sure...there are likely other factors...i'm learning---but that is the point i'm still learning stuff like this.
I found a bracelet to replace one i lost. This is the expense i shouldn't really have spent but i've been looking for one that i liked for months. I had one that i liked (it cost about $40...hard to tell i bought it with other stuff and haggled at the time). This one was usually $65 but was selling at $45.50 (not a boxing day sale they were waiting until later but the person that knew saw me going through the old box they were going to put on sale). Its more than i could afford really. But its beautiful and i think it will be perfect. Althought i will be bitching before the end of the month, not ever getting anything for yourself doesn't work well either...i've been looking for a replacement for about a year and i've never seen less than $50 unless it had no design whatsoever...and this is much fanicier than the last. Partly i just don't have enough money. We all need a bit of this and that to live with and be happy....i just get asked to explain all of my purchases more often by folks who think they can tell what is best for me. (which would often seem to involve doing nothing but staring at the cieling). Its nice...if you know how to knit its as if one round knit has been done with the silver...you know the type you get the tail out of when you are a kid...except all of that is in the silver.
Its the type with an open part that you put your hand in and then tighten to get it to fit. I lost the last one when i lost weight faster than i kept track of and didn't tighten it enough. Its about the only thing i can stand having on my left hand (i'm left handed) because it stays put more or less if you tighten it correctly. I would intend to just keep it there, although it will be a bother for a few weeks at least i would figure (did i mention things on my left side bug me?). I won't even let them take blood from that side of put in an IV unless its absolutely necessary...bugs me for too long afterward. At one point i needed regular blood tests and since they were all done in the right arm i was actually getting the scarring you can get if you shoot up too much (or something similar?)...although only on the inside of the vien not on the outside. Since i don't need the blood tests as often its gone back to normal (it was a medication that required more tests for levels at the beginning than later...i still do get a regular set of blood tests at least every 3-4 months, when we remember more often at times like these sometimes to try and see if levels are right (one of the two drugs we test for can effect depression...we also test for some biological stuff that is necessary...).
Christmas was depressing but then it isn't a big holiday for me either. I went to the local pub that serves a great free Christmas dinner so i got my turkey too. I miss Christmas celebrations although there is no one to have them with now and i'm not going to start them myself (not my thing too far from what i believe)....but my uncle was married to a Catholic and we used to go over there for Christmas dinner after getting to where they lived (another city) and then stayed a few days. And at different points in my life i've spent it with friends families...although it has no religious meaning to me i do miss it i must admit....
One of my fillings broke. Frustrating. I had stopped biting my nails because i broke a filling on them and then i was just biting a bit once and bang. It was likely going to go soon anyway. I'm pretty sure i broke this tooth before and it was root cannaled to fix it (didn't need because it was infected but did need it to fix the tooth). If its the one i think it is its go a post and the part that is still in will likely last until the 3rd (when my dentist gets back). Meanwhile i have to remember to be careful with what i eat...its in the front. My dental coverage isn't all that good on ODSP and most would likely say it needed pulling but my dentist could fix it (he's put a lot of free work into my teeth...not caps, but enough to keep things going) and i appreciate it quite a bit. I thought i would need to get a plate last summer for the front but so far i'm holding on (or we [me and my dentist] are).
So unless it hurts there is no point in going to the dentist. If it does there might be problems...i have to take Percocet for pain (well if its above a tylenol 1) because of drug interactions...my GP gives me a small amount on the idea that if i need more its to last a weekend. But this is a week...mind you with a prescription botttle a strange dentist or a health clinic might take me more seriously (dentists hate giving Percocet...its not my fault i can't take Tylenol 3's like they want to give out instead...i once spent 6 hours in front of a nursing station in the middle of the night after my breathing was depressed by some Tylenol 3's [once they were sure it wasn't too serious, they kept me until it would leave my system...the story there is interesting maybe i'll tell it someday]).
But so far so good which likely means it will continue to be ok (would be infected by now likely if it was going to be).
I have a few google mail invitations that are available to me. You constant readers (that have made it to the bottom of this) if you want one tmail me. I need to check with my friends as to what they want but i think i could promise three to people who are reading here. I don't really know a way to decided...first three tmail's get them (although i think a lot of the folks on tblog already have them... the question with my friends is how interested they will be...they are not likely to have them).
So what has life been like recently...not so great.
I'm having problems with depression (not the blues). Along with that comes problems with anxiety, sleeping (and nightmares) and mild to medium Obsessive Compulive Disorder like problems (i don't tend to have many of the symptoms when i'm not depressed so its not an official probel although i had it as a kid when my parents were looking at all sorts of things and missed it completely. I grew out of most of it ( i gave a doctor a description of the problems as a kid and got Yup definetly OCD at that point in time.) So there are always things to be thankful for out there (OCD also runs in my family)!
The sleeping is slowly improving. My doctor has approved me taking an increase in the medication i take to sleep. I usually only up the dose to that level in the late spring and early summer when i have particularly bad insomnia. I wouldn't plan to keep it that way but i need more than 5 hours sleep a night that is sound (and i waited a week or so before doing much about it---we all loose sleep at some point---)
Did my budgetting with JA yesterday. In Ontario the ODSP cheques always come out just before Xmas so you need to budget early. In fact i'd already made most of my major purchases for the month before i saw her...things that are generally on my list or were specifically. The portable phone with the answering machine was in the store (budgetted for last month but they were out....my phone is way past when it should have been replaced and this is a no name kind brand not costing more than a lot of phone generally---i'll be testing it today). The number of $'s left over after budgetting (which does mean most stuff has been taken into account) was depressing. But i realized later that i'm pretty sure that Jan is when i get a tax credit that is mailed out meaning that it will be not so bad. The other purchase i made was vitamins and Omega Fatty Acids (mine were running low). Also the place i got them at has a nice container for vitamins...i put mine in my Dossett generally but with the large gelatin capsules i'm running out of room. In fact i would have bought two (one to put a weeks worth of medication in---the one's in the pharmacy won't fit that generally...in one case) but they were out...so i'll be going back. Its nice to see one large enough. I'll be able to fill it almost all the way in all likelyhood. I do remember to take almost all my pills. But almost isn't all. Pharmacies make a pain in the ass out of themselves if the Dossetts come back with pills in them so i empty whatever i have missed. And then i keep them for a while...if its been a long time i return them in a vitamin bottle to some other pharmacy (it can them be gottten rid of as medical waste and not end up in the water through the toilet or the dump...all pharmacies in Ontario offer this from what i can tell and its a pretty damn good idea if you ask me. A number of them will also take batteries and some other stuff as well now.
But i do keep track of my extra's. I may be missing this or that, but it would only be for unexpected times i might leave the house and not want to grab a Dossett (early dating likely) so it won't have to be perfect. Of course that is supposing that i find someone to date anytime in the near future. Some extra's are things i get prescribed in bottles too to take as needed...those get thrown in the take as needed area (another spot in the house near the bed...and its much better to keep your pills in their bottle. In my case i decided generally there was too many bottles, it depressed me and made me a larger risk of a break in if i had any fellow residents in. So a lot of the pills are in these two cash containers that are bright colours bought from a amusement store. they have a tray for the change which i use. And since i've been taking most of them for years i can recognize them fine. In fact last week the pharmacy actually gave me a generic on one of the drugs i'm not supposed to get a generic on---and i noticed it. Generally keeping things in bottles is a better idea though. They do lock (but could easily be jimmied) but it means i can keep people out unless they are determined to steal it (not being sure what is in it). Oh and they are bright green and purple...the amusement shop had good reason to buy them . Anything i'm not familiar with just doesn't go there (or that i'm taking for a few days like an antibiotic). There is still some other medical stuff in the corner there (you could guess it was pills...actually its pills and vitamins [just a few vitamins]. Asthma inhalers and a bulk product i take that is like metamucil but not gross (it comes in little pellets that are mint flavoured...you put them in a spoon and swallow and drink at least one glass of water...the water is important because you need to make sure they get to the stomach as they expand later....but not all that gross at all).
The Wikipedia thing has slowed down. We've reached an agreement as to how to try and edit the page that might actually work. Not much of it is going to get done during the holidays so i won't know how well it will work for a little while---but it shows promise---or perhaps even a better article than was there before.
By-law guy is coming today over problem in the apt. and i'm nervous. After two or three it'll likely calm down for me. As for the above depression causing problems...i spend a fair bit of time crying and i feel lousy. Its something i do want to share on the page, but its something that's hard to explain exactly. PA called yesterday and the conversation didn't go all that well when trying to talk of it. His parents are coming in for Christmas so after a fair bit of crying (on my part) and the fact that i didn't want to talk about it anymore we decided to touch base after the New Year. I'm never quite sure how to talk with him even though he knows me fairly well....but that is another blog entry.
By law inspector....maybe this will get things fixed?
I looked over November a bit. It appears i didn't spend much time (excpet for bed bugs) on talking about the apt. and trying to get things fixed. I suppose some of it might have appeared in December...if some is a repeat sorry.
Well it was very very cold on Tuesday. -30C and -44C with the wind, -22F and -47F. Not the type of day you want to go out in if you can avoid it especially if you need to use busses. Your skin can freeze in 60 seconds if its not covered up.
I hear the weather got all the way down to Florida where it went below freezing but not far enough to cause orange problems (very close though). I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was talked about in the US as "extreem weather coming from Canada"(often seems to be the only time we are talked about). Much of the province was cold...when i called they had extreem windshield warnings listed for place five hours or more from here.
The other wonderful thing is that i woke up with ice on the inside of my windows. The interesting thing was that the windows that were normal it was a small amount (and it does happen occaisioanlly). The window with the broken seal (they are vacuum sealed windows) had about an inch of ice on it. Way more than the other vaccum sealed windows or even the one taht opens on the inside.
I have been trying to get that window fixed for quite a while (since May) and a fan in my bathroom. With all the ice i got frustrated and called my local representative for the city to see if she could call by law to come and see it...when it melted i called her back to say i was still concerned but it wasn't on a rush anymore (which with the emergencies going she thanked me for...didn't expect that).
So I got another call from the by law person (i had called earlier with a question...you can ask a question OR ask them to come and look. I explained the window and how it was causing problems. I've been having problems staying asleep lately in part because of it. If i turn down the temperature it lets in a lot of cold draft and i wake up. If i leave the temp up it feels too hot. I guess i should (and actually am) thankful that at least i can change the temperature.
So i took the leap. He's coming in tomorrow...although the building doesn't know that and won't be told. The second thing is that i'm supposed to have a fan in the bathroom, or a window. I've got neither. I'll be calling up my local rep (well one of the folks taht works for her) to see if she can look up the actual bylaws at the time...that one came in at a certain point around when the building was built and there can be variances.
The jump is that 1. i've never done this and 2. due to the very small size of my apt. i've got a dresser in the hall. This officially creates a fire hazard against the bylaws although it doesn't cause a problem. There is not more than one person here all that often but my homemaker is here once a week and if we need to pass one another we ask. The place is to small to ever have more than one folk in it....so it could always be navigated fairly easily as long as you went in a line.
However the next stage would likely have to be going to landlord and tenant court and this may be a cheaper and easier way to get it done (they have to fix something if they are ordered to and i put in a written request (they lost my first officially) on Sept. 10 and expressed concern that if the windo wasn't fixed soon it would get harder to do in the winter.
They just don't care. First they told me it made no difference (it does...i have personal experience with that...besides why put them in if they do nothing). Then they claimed they were too expensive. Well the heat needed to keep off the ice and to replace the heat lost is expensive too (i pay a fixed rate for my electricity but someone is paying for it down the line).
So hopefully the guy will see the place is set up as well as i could and ignore the dresser and take a good look at the window and the bathroom.
Well i know i haven't been around as much as normal. I've been spending my time instead mostly doing research for a page i'm working for on the Wiki...that and trying to catch up on my sleep ;-).
I figured today was as good a day as any to put up some news again. This is from the CBC news that i've been reading for that last few days (not all the stories though...would be too long)
Justice Minister Irwin Cotler is in the Middle East Monday, the first Canadian cabinet minister to make an official trip to the troubled region in a year and a half.
Tens of thousands of Congolese civilians have fled a week of fighting between renegade soldiers and army loyalists, hiding deep in the forest where humanitarian workers cannot reach them, according to United Nations officials.
Free votes important to world democracy: Bush Comment...free votes are important but they need to be held in the right circumstances IMHO...right now it looks like Sunni Muslims may boycott the vote which will elect those who will make the new constitution. Sunni Muslims are 20% of the population in Iraq. Vote isn't going to be valid unless they can find a way of including them in the electoral proccess. And its the news that's talking about this, not just me (i didn't know what the percentage was before
The number of election observers headed to Iraq has been reduced significantly over security concerns, said Jean-Pierre Kingsley, the federal chief electoral officer on Monday. Remaining officials will monitor the election from another Middle Eastern post, possibly Amman, Jordan.
Release information and clear my name: Arar to Martin This case is currently a big one in Canada...very important. Involved the US A Canadian who spent time in a Syrian jail is accusing the federal government of withholding information from an inquiry because it reflects well on him.
Maher Arar spoke at a news conference in Ottawa Monday afternoon, protesting the government's "editing" of a summary from a federal inquiry. The inquiry is examining what role Canadian police and security organizations played in his deportation to Syria in October 2002.
"We are learning that CSIS [the Canadian Security Intelligence Service] played a major role in what happened," said Arar.
As I've mentioned before i write on the Wikipedia. I've got a day of frustrating research coming up (well i've already done 4.5 hours of it).
One of the pages i work on had a POV complaint at the bottom and someone had added in at the top that the language might suggest POV but the article was fine (POV=Point of View NPOV=Non point of view). Its important because the Wikipedia is written from a NPOV perspective (that doesn't mean you can't keep facts of opinions out of things if they are common enough---you can say this is what this group thinks, even small minorities...its YOUR POV that is not to be put in and you aren't allowed to emphasize a POV more than it is accepted in the world generally).
One of the first pages i started writing on got this problem... it appears when an American read the text (its a Canadian text with some which is debated and comes up in politics here and there and. But there is a difference between what the Canadian folk might think should be written and the US folk. In this case there is a US and a Canadian page on the topic...i've participated in discussion on the US page but not written very much---although my ideas were put in, in some places, but the emphasis on the two pages is quite different.
I have gotten some help with someone else on the Wiki (which is what you do when you don't know how to figure out a situation). It was actually over a different page where i had problems with what was being written by one person but couldn't seem to be heard. Among other things he was citing studies that included very advanced statistics (i read one). I have a stats course from my degree and i had a very hard time understanding it. Also the way it was summed up came from the abstract i'm pretty sure. I don't think this guy could read it any better than me if as well. So i went looking for help on what to do in a POV situation. That particular thing has calmed down although it’s still a work in progress. Basically the other person is writing a page on a theory that has been rejected by most scientist---but it has been studied. The issue has been over how it should be written, emphasis on the page that introduces it (as it is a minority view cutting out the majority view reference when changes occurred i thought was wrong), quotes that seem to be out of place. The guy put a lot of work into that page. People discussing editing and how to improve stuff is the way the Wikipedia works, and is in fact the quality control...i still have problems with the article but the presentation is improving and its coming along better now.
Well i asked the same guy who helped what to do about the POV notice on the page i'd worked on (just about nothing had been writing in 2 months as a result). He took a look and thought it had deteriorated from previous edits since then (efforts to make it NPOV). To get rid of of POV mark you would usually put it somewhere---and i'm pretty sure it pops up for folks that want to follow that. Now he was saying...seems we could take this off. We have another person who has dropped in and erased a huge part of the page. I put it back and said i thought we should discuss it before erasing it and it was hard to discuss what was erased (although it was not maliciously erased as happens sometimes). Actually its the first page i reverted and apparently i accidentally erased some text they had ADDED. I put an apology on the talk page...i'm not going to put back text so it can be discussed just to erase new text.
So what is the frustrating part. The frustrating part is that i took this in school. It was a large part of my 3rd year course on the Politics of Law and Morality. I have photocopies of articles all sorts of stuff. Problem is in my tiny appartnment most of the materials aren't here. Also the one's that are here are hard to get at (in fact it just occurred to me there is a small possibility its here...i'll have to look). Also to be fair most of it should come offline...although a lot of the references i had would be able to be found online (a fair portion were court rulings).
So i'm sitting around googling research. I like research. However i hate reading off computer screens for large pieces of text (although the pages I have come across are generally these are better than average on readability, but then a lot of them are online publications---not journals but magazines and such. ). To keep track of my reading i keep track of it on my notetab program although that can be harder to read at times. But it has the links and then i can track stuff down. I also put a page in with links i see on stuff i'm reading that look worth following.
Its frustrating because i know this stuff. I studied it in depth. And i can't find my god damn notes. I'm going to make an effort when i get off here but i would say the chances are very slim its in here. I took it in the middle of my degree, and generally it was material that i knew well ( i still do but if i want to actually refute something, i need the court case about it). Undigging the stuff in and of itself is going to be a pain.
At the same time i enjoy writing there quite a bit. For all its frustrating at times, i feel like i'm putting some of the stuff i learned into use. In fact a large part of one article was written totally by me (well others edited it---that always happens, but i started the sections and they stayed more or less as i'd written them).
Now in the scope of Wikipedia writing most of an article is not a big deal. Its just a sign to me that i can get something useful done there not that it makes me super wonderful or better than anyone else here---or there.
The thing is i miss academics a lot but can't afford to work towards a masters, and i can't work so i can't work in my field. So i started working on this stuff even though my papers are quite different ... but those are papers i can see why the Wikipedia needs to have its own style. And i'm slowly learning...less and less of what i'm writing is getting heavily edited...so i'm getting somewhere...
gotta go now though...see if i can find the notes from that course and or track down all the same stuff again. Actually i may paw through my cue cards with all of my university sources on them (why didn't i think of that first). I may well recognize a number of the articles. That will be easier than unpacking what i do have...and may provide the references i need to find the stuff online.
Well of I’ve got to go M
If you are curious to what the Wikipedia is I have a link to it on the left bar although its below the area where your account stuff is listed…it will take you to the main start page and you can look around from there. I actually found it when I needed to look up some obscure statistical term earlier this year that had to do with measuring differences that I didn’t quite get since I’d never studied it. I found it was a good resource and then got interested in writing for it.
Throw out books and plays with gay content in the US...Bush is discussing it with others
Well today seems to be a day of interesting news. This is a story about banning books and plays in the US because of gay content, but i'd be surprised if it showed up in a lot of the US press (i'm jaded....also this is the fifth the time its had meetings and it is only making British press now---i would expect to see it in US press, or for that matter Canadian Press). So another article. All are about discrimination.....not a special topic i decided to follow today. There is another cutting legal case i'll put something up about but i'm still trying to find the best story or cut and paste parts together from several with links. M
On the black list... A Chorus Line (pictured: Daniel Crossley and Jason Durr in the 2003 Sheffield Crucible production). Photo: Tristram Kenton
What should we do with US classics like Cat on a Hot Tin Roof or The Color Purple? "Dig a hole," Gerald Allen recommends, "and dump them in it." Don't laugh. Gerald Allen's book-burying opinions are not a joke.
Earlier this week, Allen got a call from Washington. He will be meeting with President Bush on Monday. I asked him if this was his first invitation to the White House. "Oh no," he laughs. "It's my fifth meeting with Mr Bush."
Bush is interested in Allen's opinions because Allen is an elected Republican representative in the Alabama state legislature. He is Bush's base. Last week, Bush's base introduced a bill that would ban the use of state funds to purchase any books or other materials that "promote homosexuality". Allen does not want taxpayers' money to support "positive depictions of homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle". That's why Tennessee Williams and Alice Walker have got to go.
I ask Allen what prompted this bill. Was one of his children exposed to something in school that he considered inappropriate? Did he see some flamingly gay book displayed prominently at the public library?
No, nothing like that. "It was election day," he explains. Last month, "14 states passed referendums defining marriage as a relationship between a man and a woman". Exit polls asked people what they considered the most important issue, and "moral values in this country" were "the top of the list".
"Traditional family values are under attack," Allen informs me. They've been under attack "for the last 40 years". The enemy, this time, is not al-Qaida. The axis of evil is "Hollywood, the music industry". We have an obligation to "save society from moral destruction". We have to prevent liberal libarians and trendy teachers from "re-engineering society's fabric in the minds of our children". We have to "protect Alabamians".
I ask him, again, for specific examples. Although heterosexuals are apparently an endangered species in Alabama, and although Allen is a local politician who lives a couple miles from my house, he can't produce any local examples. "Go on the internet," he recommends. "Some time when you've got a week to spare," he jokes, "just go on the internet. You'll see."
Actually, I go on the internet every day. But I'm obviously searching for different things. For Allen, the web is just the largest repository in history of urban myths. The internet is even better than the Bible when it comes to spreading unverifiable, unrefutable stories. And urban myths are political realities. Remember, it was an urban myth (an invented court case about a sex education teacher gang-raped by her own students who, when she protested, laughed and said: "But we're just doing what you taught us!") that all but killed sex education in America.
Since Allen couldn't give me a single example of the homosexual equivalent of 9/11, I gave him some. This autumn the University of Alabama theatre department put on an energetic revival of A Chorus Line, which includes, besides "tits and ass", a prominent gay solo number. Would Allen's bill prevent university students from performing A Chorus Line? It isn't that he's against the theatre, Allen explains. "But why can't you do something else?" (They have done other things, of course. But I didn't think it would be a good idea to mention their sold-out productions of Angels in America and The Rocky Horror Show.)
Cutting off funds to theatre departments that put on A Chorus Line or Cat on a Hot Tin Roof may look like censorship, and smell like censorship, but "it's not censorship", Allen hastens to explain. "For instance, there's a reason for stop lights. You're driving a vehicle, you see that stop light, and I hope you stop." Who can argue with something as reasonable as stop lights? Of course, if you're gay, this particular traffic light never changes to green.
It would not be the first time Cat on a Hot Tin Roof ran into censorship. As Nicholas de Jongh documents in his amusingly appalling history of government regulation of the British theatre, the British establishment was no more enthusiastic, half a century ago, than Alabama's Allen. "Once again Mr Williams vomits up the recurring theme of his not too subconscious," the Lord Chamberlain's Chief Examiner wrote in 1955. In the end, it was first performed in London at the New Watergate Club, for "members only", thereby slipping through a loophole in the censorship laws.
But more than one gay playwright is at a stake here. Allen claims he is acting to "encourage and protect our culture". Does "our culture" include Shakespeare? I ask Allen if he would insist that copies of Shakespeare's sonnets be removed from all public libraries. I point out to him that Romeo and Juliet was originally performed by an all-male cast, and that in Shakespeare's lifetime actors and audiences at the public theatres were all accused of being "sodomites". When Romeo wished he "was a glove upon that hand", the cheek that he fantasised about kissing was a male cheek. Next March the Alabama Shakespeare festival will be performing a new production of As You Like It, and its famous scene of a man wooing another man. The Alabama Shakespeare Festival is also the State Theatre of Alabama. Would Allen's bill cut off state funding for Shakespeare?
"Well," he begins, after a pause, "the current draft of the bill does not address how that is going to be handled. I expect details like that to be worked out at the committee stage. Literature like Shakespeare and Hammet [sic] could be left alone." Could be. Not "would be". In any case, he says, "you could tone it down". That way, if you're not paying real close attention, even a college graduate like Allen himself "could easily miss" what was going on, the "subtle" innuendoes and all.
So he regards his gay book ban as a work in progress. His legislation is "a single spoke in the wheel, it doesn't resolve all the issues". This is just the beginning. "To turn a big ship around it takes a lot of time."
But make no mistake, the ship is turning. You can see that on the face of Cornelius Carter, a professor of dance at Alabama and a prize-winning choreographer who, not long ago, was named university teacher of the year for the entire US. Carter is black. He is also gay, and tired of fighting these battles. "I don't know," he says, "if I belong here any more."
Forty years ago, the American defenders of "our culture" and "traditional values" were opposing racial integration. Now, no politician would dare attack Cornelius Carter for being black. But it's perfectly acceptable to discriminate against people for what they do in bed.
"Dig a hole," Gerald Allen recommends, "and dump them in it."
Of course, Allen was talking about books. He was just talking about books. He never said anything about pink triangles.
I'm a Pagan Jew. Butthat is of late. When i was in high school i was definetly a Jew...with a few new age ideas later on. The Shakspear we did in Grade 9 was Merchant of Venice and it wall hell for me. In fact i refused to open Julius Caesar for at least half of the next year we did the play. Its a longer more complicated story but that is the bare bit. I think this is a very important article....would be regardless of wether i studied the play but having seen the problems studying caused its even more important to me. M
A very Jewish villain
It's about time we stopped making excuses for Shakespeare, says Jonathan Freedland. As a new film version of The Merchant of Venice proves, the play is indeed anti-semitic
The debate is so old it should have its own place in the Shakespearean canon. Is Shylock, the Jewish moneylender who demands a "pound of flesh" from a debtor, a villain or a victim? Every time The Merchant of Venice is staged, the debate is restaged along with it. Does Shakespeare's play merely depict anti-semitism, or does it reek of it? Is the Bard describing, even condemning, the prevalent anti-Jewish attitudes of his time - or gleefully giving them an outlet? The papers of a million A-level students are marked forever with such questions.
Yet now they have a new force. Because the Merchant is playing in a new medium, making its debut as a full-length, big-budget feature film - complete with a top-drawer Hollywood star, Al Pacino, in the de facto lead.
The film declares its own intentions early. The pre-credit sequence, complete with Star Wars-style scrolling text, seeks to contextualise. The opening image is of a crucifix, rapidly juxtaposed with the sight of Hebrew texts put to the flame. The words on the screen tell us that "intolerance of the Jews was a fact of 16th-century life". To prove it we see a mini-pogrom, with a Jew hurled from the Rialto Bridge.
It's clear that director Michael Radford does not want to make an anti-semitic film. But he has big two problems. The first is the play. The second is the medium.
Start with the play. We may want it to be a handy, sixth-form-friendly text exposing the horrors of racism, but Shakespeare refuses to play along. As t